Women and homosexual men in Jamaica suffer due to their sexual powerlessness but men who get infected have more difficulty getting support, writes Beccy Beard.
Mother of seven Vivienne Bowen from Jamaica contracted HIV from the father of her children eight years ago.
She says: "When you live with your partner or husband they will ask: 'why are you using a condom when we are together?' And that is the time they are outside roaming with other partners and that is the way they come in and infect."
Jamaican women are more likely to get HIV than men because they cannot ensure their partner uses protection.
Equally, young gay men are vulnerable because they are likely to have less control in sexual relationships with older men.
He saw no option but suicide
Education will go a long way to help the weaker partners in sexual relationships to protect themselves; so will encouragement to earn a living and not depend on men.
Bowen got counselling and jobskills training at Jamaica AIDS Support (JAS).
The organisation also provides homecare and testing and works to educate people about the virus.
JAS nurse Daunette Wellington said: "Young guys and young girls are depending on older men for financial support, probably because of the economic conditions of the parents." Churches will help end the sexual exploitation of the young by educating the children to be happy with what they have got and showing them the dangers of older men, she said. "If men give them things they usually expect sex in return."
Bowen stated: "If we women think positively and think wisely, if we do some craft and help ourselves and not depend on men we will find that the Jamaican woman will be a better woman today."
Men
HIV-positive men struggle to find support.
When Jason Richards found out at age 17 just two weeks before Christmas that he was HIV-positive, he saw no option but suicide.
"It was a shock," he said. "I was saying that nobody was going to stay by my side, and I'm going to die anyway so I might as well just kill myself and get it over with."
A stranger stopped him, and later on his stepmother put him in touch with JAS. But he says that in general, men are less likely to have the essential support systems that women have.
"It's difficult finding out you're HIVpositive but the whole backbone of support comes with friends and family – you don't have that support, you're nothing," Richards explained. "Friends and family – you're alright."
Homosexual men have added difficulty in getting support due to widespread prejudice against gay men in Jamaica.
Ray Whittaker contracted HIV through unprotected sex with men after leaving school. He said: "For a woman it's not so bad because it's usually through heterosexual sex that they got HIV. People say I've got HIV because I'm gay."
HIV-positive people, female or male, want to be treated like everybody else.
Richards lamented the fact that it was difficult to get a job, or to travel if you are open about your status in Jamaica.
In the same way, neither men nor women should be exempt from care provision. While women and gay men might be more vulnerable to infection because they cannot insist on protection in a sexual relationship, men – heterosexual and homosexual – need help to get support once infected.