A woman's place
Lai Ming Wyers tells of her family struggle to be educated.
I was brought up in an environment where women were not encouraged to reach their full potential.
Lai Ming Wyers
My parents came from China to small town Menglembu in Malaysia. We had to pay for secondary education so my mother wanted me to stop studying at age 13.
She wanted me to be a tea lady and earn money for the family.
She thought that to educate a woman is a waste of money as they have no place in society and are just married off.
Whatever skills they have only benefit the family of another.
There was a battle between my father and me against my mother and they quarrelled a lot because of me. I got a beating and had to do all the housework, including fetching the water from the well daily, to discourage me from going to school. I contemplated suicide twice.
Eventually my mother let me go to school. One of my teachers suggested that I apply for a scholarship, which I won. I did my A-levels and got a job at HSBC bank, then a training contract at Ernst and Young accounting firm.
God's purpose
I confess it took me some time to forgive my mother, but I did eventually. And I discovered that God's purpose for women is wonderful.
Being from a Chinese background I was brought up believing women are there to cook, look after their husband and that's the most they can do.
But Proverbs 31 describes women as capable of managing the family, planning, even investment and providing for the family. I find it very encouraging and it's one of my favourite books. I read it all the time to remind me God has such a beautiful plan for us – why must I put myself down or let others do so?
Christian men shouldn't see women as a trap but as a helper because that's our role. By being capable you are actually supporting your husband, you're not a trap to him. You are actually helping to build the family. I know a couple who are both very capable and both supported their children's education. With one person possibly you cannot do as much.
Lai Ming Wyers is CWM's chief accountant